Never Ever
by AnimeCat
Summary: Heero has hentai pics of Duo he plans on using as blackmail...or is that just his cover-up for why he has them?? This isn't a REAL fic...but something me and my friend "Duo's Koiboto" did. Read and Review...it's funny... ^_~


Never Ever

AnimeCat: I have NO idea what the hell my friend Duo's Koiboto and me were up to with this….but it's funny as hell and I HAD to post it. It's funky, wild and weird…like Duo's Koiboto and me….but really, what else do you expect from Fangirls? Sweet, precious, and cute romance in the end….but other than that it's humor at it's weirdest…. We were just…chatting…and this came up….

Yaoi, yaoi and more yaoi!!! No bashing, so I want NO flames. Make sure to thank Duo's Koiboto….she had a LOT to do with this…

@-------

Duo: Some one help me!!! *Running in a circle screaming*...help!!!

*Heero pops out from no where, knocks duo unconscious and drags him to a remote spot*

Duo: '......'

Heero: Finally got him to shut up...

Duo: *groggy* What's going....uh...on...man...wow...

Heero: Damn......

Duo: *rubbing his head* Hey Heero man....what happened?

Heero: I saved you from the insane fangirls

Duo: Huh?!? where? *looking around frantically*

Heero: *pulls out gigantic box* one of them was carrying this...

*inside box is every single bit of yaoi you could ever imagine...*

Duo: Oh my GOD!!!

*pics of duo....drawings......fics.....*

Duo: Wha...whaa............

Heero: I think her name was AnimeCat...and I think she has more

Duo: Hey look its you too!! *points to Heero pic* …..Nice......

*far away, AC is wondering where Box 36b went off to*

Duo: Oppps...

Heero: Thank you

Duo: I didn't say anything...

Heero: You said 'nice'. 

Duo: *covers his eyes* No I didn't...why would I say that....*starts humming to self*

Heero: *while duo has his eyes covered, Heero steals all nekkid duo pics*

Duo: *peeks* Hey!! what are you doing????

Heero: *startled* What? doing what? I'm not doing anything!

Heero: *hides pics*

Duo: *points at Heero's hands* What were those???? Huh???

Heero: *does some quick ass thinking* I'll be selling them to insane fangirls for cash, what else would I do with them?

Duo: No!! I don't want anyone to have those!! *reaches for pics* Gimme gimme!!!

Heero: *holds them above duo's head* Doesn't matter, they're already spread out all over the net

Duo: *mouth drops open* Whaa...? aallll...oveerrrr..t-the neett?? *faints*

Heero: Do you have any idea how much this one is worth?

Duo: .......................

Heero: *holds up a particularly ecchi one* I haven't any idea what you're doing in this....but it's worth cash, 

I'm telling you now

Duo: *in sleep* No nekkid duo pics Heero......please...no....

Heero: *takes the box and walks away, grinning*

Duo: *sits up* Where am I?

Duo: *sees Heero walking away* I don't think so!!! *tackles Heero and the contents of the box fly 

everywhere *

Heero: DAMN!! Duo, you just ruined my weekend!! *covers his mouth frantically*

Heero: *bad cover-up* I mean...I had missions and stuff...I wouldn't spend all weekend 

admiring your hot body....*covers his mouth again*

Duo: Your weekend??? What? No money now.....EXCUSE ME????

Heero: *manages to look every bit the perfect soldier*

Duo: *picks up Heero* Did you just say what I thought you said??

Heero: No

Heero: I didn't say anything

Duo: Yes you did! I heard you!!!!!!

Heero: *Dracula imitation* I didn't say anything....I didn't mention how hot you are...

Heero: DAMN!!!!

Duo: There it is again!!! 

Duo: See!!! You said it!!!!

Heero: *wishes he had a self-detonator*

Duo: Wait...why'd you say it?? Huh Heero? Why?

Heero: ................

Duo: Nuh uh...tell me!

Heero: Hn

Duo: *grabs Heero's face and faces him* WHAT....DID....THAT.....MEAN....HEERO??

Heero: *looks around* {where the hell is an insane fangirl when you need one???}

Duo: WELL????

Heero: *finally gives in* Ok, ok....I THINK YOU'RE DAMN SEXY!!!!!

dead silence

Duo: *gasp*

Duo: ............huh........no.....way......

Heero: *smacks his head against the box..hoping to pass out*

Duo: Hey! Stop that!! You'll get hurt!!

Heero: Why do you care?

Duo: *checks Heero's head for injuries*.....Just...umm...do....I guess...

Duo: *lets go quick*

Duo: your fine.....

Heero: *nods*

Duo: What?

Heero: You didn't need to check...I'm fine...*picks up the scattered hentai pics*

Duo: Hey, you leave those alone!

Heero: Better pick these up before AnimeCat gets her hands on them...

Duo: I'm gonna burn them all...

Duo: *picks up Heero pic* Except this one.....*puts in pocket*

Heero: *looks horrified* Umm....wh-wh- why...why would you go an do that, Duo??

Heero: *grins inwardly because he saw*

Duo: Because! look at them!! They need to go!

Heero: ............. *is too scared he'll spill again if he talks*

Duo: They are bad...right?

Heero: *holds up pic* This one is.....

Heero: *examines* is that a whip?

Duo: *looks right at Heero* Hey! Gimme that!! *jumps on Heero to get pic*

Heero: *pockets the pic before duo can get it...then takes off running like a bat outta hell*

Duo: I don't think so!! *runs faster and tackles Heero* Now where is it?!?! *searching frantically for pic*

Heero: *holds onto pic with his life*

Duo: Quit holding out on me, Heero! Give it!!

Heero: *like a 6-year-old* I want it!! It's mine!! 

Duo: NO!! It's EVIL!! Now give...it...here!! *grabs for it and misses and he grabs something else* 

Heero: *looks down to see what Duo had grabbed* Um...Duo......

Duo: Eppp....

Heero: *blushes*

Duo: *lets go* I-I-I-I....wait...I-I-I....that...was...nt....what....

Duo: *gives up and collapses-on to Heero*

Duo: *sigh*

Heero: *totally shocked...totally happy* 

Heero: *tries to pretend he isn't thrilled out of his mind* Duo...what are you.....

Duo: *looks up* Heero....I'm ...sorry...*tries to get up*....

Heero: *pulls duo back down*

Duo: What? *looks at him questionably*

Heero: Um.......(AC ain't ready for lemons!! Ack! Damn morals!!)

Duo: Uhh....Heero...umm...can I get...up..now? *squirms*

Heero: *lets go of Duo quickly...wondering why he did that*

Duo: *sits up next to Heero and says nothing*

Heero: *after 15 minutes of dead silence* Duo...what do you think of me?

Duo: *looking at his shoes*...Huh..of you? Wacha mean Heero? *nervously playing with the tip of his 

braid*

Heero: .........As a person.......

Duo: Umm...*starts to laugh* you could kick my ass!!

Heero: *doesn't mention other things he could do....* 

Heero: *grins* Yes...I can kick anyone's

Duo: *still laughing* I..mean...you're...the perfect soldier man!

Duo: *stops suddenly*...Uhh..why?

Heero: Besides in the battlefield...other than my skills as a pilot

Heero: Because I want to know...is that hard to comprehend?

Duo: No...*looks hurt* I guess not....

Heero: *instantly looks sorry* I didn't mean it like that!!

Duo: *snaps out of it-but it still lingers* Like what man??

Heero: *thoughtful* I want to know what you think of me...because I know what I think of you. Everyone 

else is so easy to read in to, am I the same?

Duo: *nervous-again*...Uhh....well...*thinks about running away to hide*

Duo: I...uh...what do you think of...me?

Duo: *tries not to look at Heero*

Heero: You're bright....you talk a lot but it suits your nature. You have a great personality

Duo: *in awe* You..you think I'm bright!?!?!

Duo: And my personality too?

Heero: *wonders why he opened his big mouth* Yeah...very good combo, Duo…

Duo: *getting real nervous now* Well...thanks man...umm...I..umm...

Heero: And me? *looks at duo calmly*

Duo: You? well...ahhh...you can kick my ass...oh I said that already...ummm....

Duo: Well...I think...that you..umm...

Heero: ......

Heero: Is there anything about me even remotely interesting, aside the fact that I'm the perfect soldier?

Duo: *wants to bolt* Ummm...yeah................

Heero: Enlighten me, Duo

Duo: *looks at Heero and then turns away, takes a deep breath and...*

Heero: Well?

Duo: WellIdontreallywantotsaythisbutIthinkthatyouarethehottestguyaliveandthatIummmm...I um..

Heero: *blush*

Heero: *very quietly* I think you already know what else I think of you, anyway..

Duo: *hides in his hands*....Huh...?...How did you....

Duo: *covers eyes* This cant be happening.....

Heero: *is totally thrilled this is FINALLY happening...*

Duo: *can't look at Heero anymore*....This is not happening.....Can't be.....

Heero: *breaks the tension by kissing Duo*

Duo: *stops breathing totally*............

Heero: *cracks open an eye and sees 2 familiar fangirls recording this from behind duo*

Duo: *gasping for breathe* No....

Heero: *breaks away* ...What...? ....Why...?

Duo: Go away....please.....*looking at fan girls*

Heero: *dawns on him* Oh, right....GO AWAY!!! *shoots at fangirls*

*fangirls cuss and run away with their priceless footage*

Duo: *starts to feel dizzy* Heero...I don't...feel...so goo.....

Heero: *extremely concerned* What's wrong??

Duo: *looks at him* Nothing......not wrong......*looks at shoes again*

Heero: *smiles ecchi-ly and kisses Duo again*

Duo: *shocked-in a good way* Why did you do that, Heero?

Heero: *looking slightly confused* Uhh.......do what? Kiss you? ...I like you...

Duo: *says to himself* No....that didn't just happen...maybe....no...never in my wildest dreams......

Duo: *looks at Heero and decides to do it*

Duo: *he jumped on him and kissed him back*

Duo: *gasping* Yep...it was real....very...

Heero: *puts his arms around duo and kisses him again and again*

Heero: It's more real than you can possibly imagine, koi...

Duo: *in-between kisses* Dream cometrue.....Heero.....

Heero: *says nothing, just makes sure Duo never forgets this moment ^_~*

Duo: Never ever......

Heero: No...you'll never forget....this...*kisses Duo again, fiercer*

Duo: *drags Heero behind a bush* And you'll never forget this...

*fangirls across the street, perfectly camouflaged, whisper excitedly*

Heero: *happily complies to be dragged behind the bush*

(a lotta time passes)

Heero: *pants* No...I'm never forgetting that.....*grins*

Duo: Didn't think you would.....*grins evilly*

Duo: Its time to go again here!!! *jumps on Heero*

Heero: *agrees silently and happily*

Duo: Lets find a better place...those fangirls are around here somewhere.....*looks around*

*fangirls cuss and try and find a new safehouse where they can watch*

Duo: I know you're there!!! So stop it!!!

Heero: *pulls out huge beam cannon, fires randomly* 

Duo: *cries* Heero....

*four buildings go down...and the fangirls settle for footage of Quatre and Trowa*

Duo: *grabs Heero* You're my hero, Heero....

Heero: *cuddles with duo* What's wrong, koi?

Duo: *floating on air* Nothing...now....*kisses Heero again*

Heero: *holds duo tightly* 

Heero: And never again....

Duo: Whoo hoo!! I like that!!

Duo: Never ever....Heero....

Heero: *kisses duo and silences him instantly*

Duo: *almost passes out*

Heero: *hopes duo will remain conscious...he wants to continue*

Duo: ...............my........hero............Heero.............

Duo: *sigh of happiness*

Heero: And you're mine....for now....

Duo: *curls up tighter against Heero* Ok.....koi......

Heero: *finishes softly, whispering into Duo's ear* And forever....

Duo: *almost asleep* .....And ever...........

{And so it was, and so it will be. Duo and Heero fall in love and that's that. ^_^}

@-------

AnimeCat: I might as well point out other stuff. This was totally improv. I was Heero, and she was Duo. We made it up as we went along…what do you think of it??? Tell us!!!! We're also the insane Fangirls mentioned ever so often….hehehe….

Review!


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